Everything Happens for a Reason

How many times do we really want to hear those words when someone offers them up to us? Sometimes the pain of the moment over rides the ability to remember the cosmic relativity to all things we experience here on this earth. I find myself thinking and saying those words more frequently with my older sons who are starting to navigate the often times painful and some times brutal reality of the world in which we live.

Even my youngest (12 year old ) son has not been immune. Just recently he had what I thought was a mild allergic/asthmatic reaction to a rather dusty environment. He started coughing, choking a bit and gasping for air. I removed him from the situation thinking that he would calm down once we got him into some fresh air and cooled him down a bit. Unfortunately his symptoms escalated and my sweet son looked at me with terrified eyes believing in his little soul that he was going to die.  Apparently my "super mom" persona he adorned me with when he was very young has worn off because he did not believe for a second that I would be able to help him. I drove him to a near by CVS so that we could purchase an over the counter inhaler and a cold drink....still thinking he would calm down as we drove.

I had him sit in the air conditioned waiting area at the CVS while I got what I thought might help him breathe easier from the Pharmacist. When I turned around to offer him the cold drink and medicine he was hysterical and in a full on panic. By now he couldn't feel his hands and his feet were cramping up. I laid him down because he was certain that he was going to pass out. I tried to talk him through some breathing patterns and get him to take some medicine. He was too panicked. He was begging me to help him without being coherent enough to listen to what I was saying.

Interestingly although we were a side show for certain at the CVS no one approached to try and help us. I used my cell phone to call 9-1-1. As soon as a compassionate operator answered and talked me through what to say to my son I started to weep a little. This sent my son off the edge who thought this was certain validation that he was going to die. Poor guy! Maybe because I had the phone to my ear and he knew there was a power greater than "just mom" coaching me along...... he allowed me to help him stop hyperventilating and seemed to hear me when I told him that he would be ok....and that greater assistance was on the way!

I will never forget the look in his eyes as he was so afraid. I should have pulled in resources sooner I think because as soon as the paramedics arrived and started telling him the same things that I was.... he was able to maintain his composure and cooperate. I spoke with the Captain who was a wonderful, compassionate woman ..... she helped me assess what had  actually happened with my son. Although it is genetic the thought did not occur to me that the whole episode was a panic/anxiety attack. I have experienced these many times myself (although it was over 15 years ago) and I know there are many family members who struggle with this annoying genetic defect.

I am thankful to some extent that I was available to help him (as much as he would allow me ) since this is the first time he has experienced this. It is good to know that he is prone to anxiety and panic attacks in order to make sure he learns to manage his stress and be open to considering medication at some later point in his life as needed. It was a bullet I had hoped he would dodge...but there are worse things. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason!

My son and I thanked God in an extra fervent way that night. My son looked to me and said "What would I do without you mom....if you had not been there with me I could have literally been dead! YOU saved my life!" I quelled the drama of his statement by thanking him for his kind words and reassuring him that even if he had passed out he would not have died. Trying to educate him about the truth of what happened in order to hopefully keep extreme over reaction and fear (therefore more panic attacks ) at bay.

He is rolling with the punches and after a few days of resting he is back in the saddle of life. Have you had similar experiences with your children? It seems to be a whole new level of parenthood when we are faced with circumstances that are beyond our control!